


Autumn

by sadismgirl



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, Drama, F/M, Jealousy, Romance, Sexual Content, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:30:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadismgirl/pseuds/sadismgirl
Summary: You form a suicide pact with a young man, desperate to end your life. But soon enough, as the two of you become acquainted, what feels like love starts to seep within your lives. It leaves you wondering if a noose around the neck is really the answer.





	1. Chapter 1

You look at the computer screen for what feels like an eternity. The words you are focusing on only look back, as if waiting for you to make the first move and you do, because all you need is for someone else to type those yearning words: _I need to be with someone else to ensure that I will go through with my suicide._

Something about composing your own ad in the Partners section of the suicide website you found makes you feel vulnerable. Nothing would be worse than to get rejected or to be paired up with some thirty something year old man going through a midlife crisis.

The phone rings and you pick it up a lightning speed, humming in response to a woman wanting to make reservations for two at the restaurant you work at. The upside of the job is that you get to use a computer, which means unlimited internet. Other than that, you'd rather be burying yourself.

As you hang up the computer beeps. There’s new message posted below the one you just read beforehand.

_I would like to die at the start of autumn. What do you say?_

_\--Medic_

You check Medic’s profile, a bit taken back by their choice of a username. Do they like to aid others? Are they one of those people who hid their depression behind a seemingly happy face?

You click biography. Apparently Medic is a male. He’s a year older than you—that’s fine. And he only lives a few minutes away! Perfect. What you interpret as excitement filters through you in waves.

“Don’t you have reservations to make?” A haughty voice interrupts your thoughts.

You glance at the waitress next you. She’s collecting menus at a hurried pace, probably regretting her position as a server. Her drawn on eyebrows contrast the baby face she’s so obviously trying to hide. You smile condescendingly at her. “I actually am making a very special arrangement.”

With that, you type back a message to Medic: _Sounds like a date. Where should we meet?_

**_[][][][][][][][]_ **

The last class of the day is what ruins everything. Today proves that fact.

“I have a surprise that I just know everyone will love,” your teacher announces after some individual reading, “today I assign my literature project concerning visual enlightenment.”

Everyone groans while she continues explaining the details. When she reveals that she’s going to assign partners to the project the entire class is borderline screeching. However, the rambunctious seniors immediately quiet down as she calls on your name first from the random generator.

“…Will be paired with Mikhail.”

Mikhail, sometimes nicknamed Heavy or Misha and also known as your _ex-boyfriend,_ pales. A girl in a cheerleader uniform gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. _You’ll be okay,_ you can see her mouth to him. 

Honestly. You’d feel bad for him too if your hatred for this high school weren’t so passionate. Regardless, tears flow to your eyes. Memories about Mikhail come to mind. You try to push them away, you really do but you can’t. You don’t want to. He's your first love. 

None of it matters anyways. You won’t be around to turn in the project with him. You’ll be too busy decomposing.

 Once your teacher finishes reading off names that aren’t so cursed like yours, the bells rings. You’re the first to leave the classroom.

It is only when you are in your car that you realize today is the day you meet Medic. The realization brings you out of your self pity. And before you know it, you’re pulling into Route 40 after making a sharp turn.

The drive is long. By the time you get there the sun is hidden behind large pine trees.

As Burger Dealer comes into view, you notice the place is crowded. Looks like a school other than yours won a football game. You park on the curb of sidewalk, contemplating. You aren’t sure why you’re nervous. This isn't some blind date your bestie arranged for you.

You slowly get out of your car, though you stop in your tracks at the sight of a young man staring at you. He's wearing a brown vest like he said he would.

Without looking before crossing you hesitantly approach the boy. “Hi,” You greet once nearing him. "Are you, um, Medic?"

The supposed Medic blinks like he can't understand you at first. "Oh! From zhe suicide vebsite? Ja, zhat vould be me... And Ich suppose you vould be zhe girl I met zhere?"

 "Yes, that would be me," you confirm.

He smiles, and offers you his hand. You wonder if he’s actually depressed, then again, you still sometimes laugh.

You briefly touch his warm fingers. “What is your real name?”

“Jaeger,” he answers, “Jaeger Ludwig. How about you?”

“[Name].”

His German accent throws you off. If anything, everything about him leaves you at loss. You were expecting to meet a loser; some guy who’s never left his mother’s basement.

Instead, you are met with this tall boy who could pass for a model if it weren't for those glasses. You’re willing to bet he goes to a private school as well. He owns that air about him.

Inside the diner you say you are going to order a meal before joining him. You try not to glance at Jaeger whilst you wait in line. Though you quickly catch on that you aren’t the only girl staring at his behind. Having finally ordered, you walk towards the table he picked out and set your food in front of him.

Jaeger adjusts his glasses. “Let's get zhis out zhe vay. You and Ich are both here because--”

“We’re suicidal,” you finish, "And we can't complete the process by ourselves."

“Ja!”  

He's about to say something else when suddenly two guys ambush the German from behind, laughing and slapping him on the back. Jeager grins back as if he's been hanging out with them the whole time. You take a small sip from your shake.

"How's it going?" One of them asks you.

"Great," you mumble.

"I did not know you were putting yourself out there, Jeager." The other comments slyly, "hmmm, what would that Pauling girl think?"

"Guys, zhis here is [Name]," he introduces you.

"The name's Jeremy," the shorter boy adorning a baseball cap tells you, "n' this here is Mundy but everyone be calling him Sniper ever since that Chemistry incident."

"Can it," Sniper orders.

"Not my fault the school went under lock-down."

"I said _can it,_ you oaf of a scout."

Jeremy turns to you. "So do ya go to Team Fortress High?" 

"We would have noticed her by then," Sniper says, rolling his eyes, "quit scaring the sheila."

"She goes to a school payed by zhe Administrator," Jeager explains.

"Sweet. How'd ya lovebirds meet?" Jeremy butts in again, confusion and curiosity at full strength.  

Jeager blushes. You look away. He exchanges glances with you a second later. "Ve, uh, met last veek," his hoarse voice reveals.

"Where?" Jeremy pries. Sniper scoffs, yet his head is tilted in wonder. Not a minute in and he sneaks a peek at you. Suspicion clouds his eyes.

"Our mozhers carpool for zhe baseball team," Jeager saves the day. You sigh through your nose, more than relieved.

Jeremy bellows, "I knew ya wanted to join the baseball team! Really Jeager, ya--" 

"Do you haf to bring your obsession vith baseball into every single conversation?" Jeager snaps.

 Jeremy shuts up at last. At the same time you catch a dullness in Jeager's leer. You recognize the emotion instantly. It's the same look you see in the mirror. He's definitely ready to kick the bucket.

 Sniper finds the courage to speak after an awkward moment lumbers by. "Well, I reckon I'll be seeing you two around. Don't let this one get away, four eyes."

"Yeah, see ya later," Jeremy echoes, "come hang with us sometime."

"Likevise," Jeager mutters. 

"Boy, its getting late," you comment as his friends leave.

"Ich is. Sorry ve could not discuss zhis more," he apologizes.

"Don't worry, we can meet again," you offer.

"Ja, okay."

"Would you like a ride home?"

Jeager nods, trailing behind you as you lead the way to the curb. Inside the car, you notice he is the only other boy that is not your ex-boyfriend, and a person your own age who is not afraid to be seen with you.

On the road, what he utters next nearly makes you swerve. 

"Can ve stop by Petco? Ich need to get food for mien bird."

You toss him a perplexed glance. "You have a pet."

Jeager squirms in his seat slightly. "Zhe bird is my mozher's actually. Not mien."

What a terrible liar. You grip the steering wheel as you pull into a semi crowded parking lot. He quickly gets out so you can't lecture him about how an attachment to an animal can hinder a suicide. You consider leaving him when he enters the store, but quickly decide against the urge. He's a good choice compared to the other weirdos on the site. Despite his popularity.

And you know you can't do this by yourself in fear that you'll fail. You look at the stars, wishing you could be one. Life would be less painful then. You would not need to forcefully transfer your energy to the universe.

The opening and slamming of a door brings you back to reality. You regard the bag of seeds the bird lover is holding. 

"What's your bird's name?" You inquire, revving the engine. 

Jeager puts on his seat belt. "Archimedes."

You try to smile yet you feel the expression come off as a grimace. "Tell me where you live."

At his house you see a thin woman waiting on the front lawn. She rushes to your car the second you pull into her cracked driveway. 

"Jeager Ludwig Ich waz so worried," she cries.

Jeager clambers outside. "Ich texted you," he reminds her.

"But zhat was hours ago. She looks at you as you start to pull out of her property. "Who is zhat?"

Jeager waves at you. You wave back, preferring not to stick around long enough to hear the answer to his mother's question.


	2. Chapter 2

You decide to stop for some gas after dropping off Jeager. You don’t want to have do so tomorrow morning right before school. As you feed a dollar into the transaction machine, something clamps down on your shoulder and you scream.

“Whoa calm down there, sheila!” Familiar vocals exclaim.

You face the perpetrator, shaken. “Oh, Mundy. I had no idea.”

Mundy scratches his neck. “Please, call me Sniper.”

“Right, Sniper.”

“Sorry for scarin’ you.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Sniper leans against your car as you fill her up with gasoline. “You know, I’m awfully glad Jeager found someone special. He hasn’t been doing so well.”

“Is that so?” You bite.

The Australian shrugs. “It’s like he’s running from something, but can’t.”

Sniper looks at you, but you don’t meet his gaze. You can’t.  

**[][][][][][][][]**

Heavy drops his backpack on the table in front of you. You can hear his friends whisper and point at you as they exit the library.

“So. How we do this?” He says.

You examine the paper your literature teacher handed out. “We should decide on a theme first.”

Heavy rubs his chin. “Is football a theme?”

You give him a pitiful look. “How about this: the entire project is based around how everyone views the world. Why not include people around us, considering everyone has different perspectives.”

“How?”

“We take pictures of them, but because that’s creepy, we’ll use mannequins. With a few cut out word bubbles, we’ll be able to reveal what their eyes see.”

Heavy seems to like the idea. “Heavy like it, when we start?”

You take advantage of the question by quickly packing your things. “Thursday. I can't today.”

“Sounds good.”  He seems as though he wants to say something else. “You look happier, more driven actually.”

“Thank you.”

He watches you push in your chair. “Want to get a coffee?”

“Look Heavy, we can’t go back to the way things were, not after last year.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

He chooses to touch your wrist rather than to respond. You recoil as if stricken, and nearly run out of the building.

Half an hour later your sedan is parked across the street in front of Jeager’s house. You don’t know why you’re fixing your hair.

On his porch steps you knock on the door.  Jeager’s mother answers the door. She smiles weakly. “You must be Jeager’s girlfriend,” she states, “vhat a pleasure to meet you. Jeager is in his room.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Ludwig.”

Poor woman. If only she knew what you were planning with her son. You make yourself at home, finding Jeager’s room without hassle. His door is open so you let yourself in.

“Hey,” you say.

He turns his head. “You made it.”

In front of him a large cage rests on a low, redwood table. It is open, and there is a dove perched on his fingers, eating out of his palm.

You sit on the floor next to him. He smells like cinnamon and his hair appears damp. Jeager moves the bird from one finger to the other so that you can see it better.

You crane your neck. “Is that Archimedes?”

“Ja. Vould you like to hold her?”

“No.”

“Come on, don’t be such a baby.”

When you make no movement Jeager gently takes your hand and lets the bird climb onto your palm. A few crumbs fall onto your skin, and she pecks at them. You can’t help but stroke her feathers. A giggle leaves you.

“She likes you,” his breath fans against your cheek. If he leaned any closer his lips would touch your own.

“I guess she does.”

“Do you haf a pet?”

“I used to.”

“What happened to it?”

“She suicided.”

He knits his brows together. “How can animal commit suicide?”

“'Cuz she walked in front of a moving car.”

The dove hops back into the cage, seeing as there’s more food in there. You and Jeager watch her for a while.

 “I vould like to drown,” Jeager abruptly states.

“There are no lakes around here,” you tell him.

“Maybe not, howevier there is a bridge close to zhe Tri State area. Ich haf found that it is very secluded in zhe early morning.”

“That’s works,” you say, “makes me want to give the place a visit.”

“Vhich you vill not do.”

“And why is that?”

He pins you in place with a cold stare. “Because you are not allowed to die vithout mich.”

“Of course not,” you promise.

**[][][][][][][][]**

On Thursday you wait on school grounds for Heavy. He received detention earlier this week, which you were not told about. Out of nowhere your phone goes off and you bring the piece to your ear without checking the call number.

“Hello?”

“[Name]?”

“--Jeager, hi!" You look around as if your conversation is being recorded.

“Greetings, I vant to know if you are free today.”

“I can’t hang out.”

“Vhy not?”

“I’m going to the mall with a classmate. It’s for a school project.”

Jeager goes quiet. You adjust your bag. Suddenly the sun feels hotter. “Hell—“

“Can Ich come?”

You see Heavy jogging in your direction. “Sure, I don’t see why not."

Jeager hangs up.

“So sorry!” Heavy yells within earshot. “I get car quickly, you wait here.” His guilt oozes out of him faster than sweat. You know you’d care if there existed a way to bring your conscience back to life.

Not far off from the school parking lot, you seize a glimpse of a girl with an overdone perm. As quickly as she's there she scampers off. You're more than happy when Heavy finally cruises along.

"There was a girl spying on us," you alert, getting in his truck.

"Maybe she is secret admirer," Heavy kids, a half smile on his lips.

"It was Sasha."

The smile on his face disappears.

**[][][][][][][][]**

You love the mall, or used to. The clothes, food and people always made you feel like you were capable of enjoying things. All that glam and so much money to spend it on. Speaking of which, you remember you have work tomorrow. Gag.

Heavy window shops for a mannequin that doesn’t look like it’s completely out of a horror movie. He fumbles with the Polaroid camera he brought. You’re trying not to get distracted by all the new clothes they have in season.

“Is this good picture?” Heavy shows you the camera.

The picture is blurry. You don’t mind though. “I like it. Try to stand still when snapping a picture.”

“Da.”

You turn around and almost smack into someone.

“Oops my bad!”

“Ich okay.”

Your eyes widen at Jeager. His sudden appearance forces you to realize that inviting him may not have been a good idea.

“You're here," you say weakly.

“You guys know each other?” Heavy asks.

Jeager frowns at him. “Ja. She invited me.”

Heavy looks at you. You fidget with your phone and say, “let’s go see if that store has any good mannequins.”

Both males walk beside you, sandwiching you in. Heavy is scowling and Jeager has his arms folded across his chest. You absentmindedly snap pictures in a mere attempt to ignore them

“Vhat is the project about?” Jeager inquires.

“Visual enlightenment,” you respond before Heavy can.

"Maybe Ich can help."

"You don't have to," Heavy states.

"It is no trouble."

"Really, it's fine"

"But I insist," Jeager affirms, his accent rougher. He takes out his phone. "Ve're snapping pictures, yes?"

"Of mannequins," you reply meekly.

He walks off to find some. Heavy faces you. "Why you invite him?"

"He invited himself," you lie.

Heavy scrunches up his nose. "I dink I go to bathroom," he gripes, stalking off.

You pass a shaky hand through your hair.

"Can I help you find something?" A nearby sales assistant asks you. Her perfectly waxed eyebrows are furrowed in worry.

"No, thanks." You lie again.

"Are you sure?"

You consider that. "You wouldn't happen to have any Calvin Klein skirts, would you?"

"I think we do."

She leads you to a rack filled with colorful skirt ranging from all sizes. You instantly feel your blood pressure lower. "Wow, you're a lifesaver."

You rifle through the skirts, coming across a misplaced dress that you find fancy. You head for the fitting rooms. The project and the fact that you want to die are long forgotten.

"Vhere are you going?" Jeager questions, pushing a cart out of the way.

You slow down. "I was just going to try this on real quick."

He follows you alternatively than chastising you for getting off task. In the stall you tear off your clothes, ignoring the large scar running down your thigh and pull on the dress. The material hugs your body and you twirl, almost laughing. There's a zipper on the back that you can't quiet reach but try to anyways.

"Need help?" Jeager calls. He must have been getting impatient.

You step out. "Okay."

You turn around and he pushes your hair so that it rests on your shoulder. His hand pulls the zipper up and you gasp when he squeezes your hip.

"What's going on here?" Heavy bursts in.

Jeager steps aside. You pivot on your heel, and pray that your ex-boyfriend can't see the blush on your cheeks. "I uh, got distracted."

Heavy drinks you in. His ears turn red. "You look very... Pretty."

"I think she looks beautiful," Jeager one ups him. 

Heavy directs his attention to the German. "Did Heavy say 'pretty'? Heavy actually meant to say magnificent." 

"Wunderbar!"

"Breathtaking!"

"Guys," you interrupt nervously, "it's getting kind of late."

"You are right, Fraulein," Jeager agrees, "I vill buy you zhe dress and zhen take you home."

"I can buy it," Heavy volunteers.

"No, I vill," Jeager downright hisses.

"I do not mind."

"I said it first!"

 "I don't really want it," you blurt.

"But you look so nice in it," Jeager croons as Heavy's hands curl into fists.

You back away into the stall. "I'll decide when I change."

Inside the room as you take off the dress, you hear an excruciatingly loud thud and German swears. Alarmed, you forget your chest is exposed and yank the door open; the sight before you questioning your ability to form words and call for help.


	3. Chapter 3

"SECURITYYY!" The manager of the clothing store screeches. 

You run over to Heavy and try to pry him off of Jeager, who's jammed in position to the wall by your ex-boyfriend's fists. 

"Let him go!" You shout, but he only presses down harder. 

"Go ahead and kill me," Jeager snarls at Heavy, "You vould be doing me a favor!" 

A startled cry leaves you as two buff hands pull you away. You turn around, and are met with a bewildered security guard. Apparently he's new to the job. 

"What are _you_ restraining me for?!" You demand. The older man glances at your bare front. 

You gasp when you look down, pulling yourself from his firm grasp and covering your breasts. Jeager and Heavy stare at your bare skin and you yell furiously, "LOOK THE OTHER WAY!"

The command seems to startle them out your nudity and themselves. At the same time two other security guards yank them apart, escorting them out of the emporium with you close behind.

All three you land roughly on the ground outside of the mall, though not without a fair warning not to come back or else. You flinch as the mall cop slams the door, gaining the many stares from bypassers. You're starting to feel a lot like you're in school suddenly

Heavy stands up, angrily dusting his pants off. "Am going home now!" He points a thick finger at you and Jeager, "you and dat scum can take bus."

You struggle to tie your halter top in place as you scramble to your feet. "Misha wait--" 

"No!" He shouts, "waiting is all Heavy have ever done! Waiting for you to come back, waiting for this damn year to end!"

Your heart stutters the second you see his eyes glisten. Heavy whips around and takes long strides to the parking lot, leaving you behind.

Jeager knows better than to say anything, and follows you to the bus stop. It doesn't come until night.

**[][][][][][][][]**

In class the next day, you try to meet Heavy's gaze, yet he manages to keep his eyes glued to the floor whenever you peek at him.

Miss. [Name], can I see you for a moment?" Your English teacher asks towards the end of the period. 

She's leaning on her desk, a somewhat inscrutable expression plastered on her face. You grow anxious as you approach her. 

"Yeah?" You force out. 

"Do you know your partner Misha? Well, he would like to do the visual enlightenment project alone. From what he said, I came to understand that you guys live too far apart to meet up regularly."

"Really?"

"Unfortunately. Is this true?"

"Yes."

Your teacher nods like she completely understands. "That's what I thought, so here's what I'm going to do: Heavy and you may work on the project alone. You are free to discard the prior material he's worked with you and start from scratch. The final grade will be separate as that is only natural." She awaits for you to approve.

"Sure, got it."

"Is there something else I should know about?"

"Huh?"

"Is location the only reason you guys can't work together?"

You almost want to tell her, let everything that's happened this week tumble out but you decide against the need. She's not the school therapist, nor would you like to talk with him.

"No."

"Great, I'm looking forward to your presentation."

You leave the room feeling stiff. Your jaw hurts. Actually, every part of your body is in pain. Your sleep deprived eyes spot Heavy talking to his friends and you make a beeline for him. 

"Why didn't you tell me first you did not want to be partners anymore?" You interrogate harshly once in front of him. 

Heavy slams his locker. "I do not want to talk right now."

"I'm sorry about last night but--"

"But dat is all there is too it," he expounded.

He stomps passed you as your heels hit the lockers. The kids he's with are quiet, soaking up everything, ready to post about it on their feed.

A girl, some class president who you've seen with Sasha, snickers. You want nothing more than to snap her neck and use her perfectly straight hair to mop up her blood.

At your locker, there is a crudely drawn picture of a stick figure with two exaggerated boobs. 

Of all the culprits who could have done that, your mind wanders off to the security guard who held you back yesterday, and you know how preposterous such an idea is; that he walktz into your school and scribbled on your locker. But you keep telling your mind that's what happened. Because of how less painful the lie sounds. 

**[][][][][][][][]**

On the freeway, stuck in traffic, you skim your eyes across your cracked phone. You've been ignoring Jeager's texts and calls ever since the incident at the mall.The way he expressed his feelings towards you--It only made you doubt him. Not only that, but you've felt alive around him; like you wanted to live. Maybe in a different universe he could have taught you how to be a happy person, someone who saw potential in life.

As of right now, he claims he'd be at the place you guys decided jump from, and that he knew you'd see this message but would not respond, which is fine. You're on you way there now.

The cars ahead of your view disappear in the horizon and you speed up, slowly coming across an enormous bridge. Your mouth pops open at the structure. Shivers run down your spine at the notion of falling to your death from such a height. Jeager definitely has good taste.

You park your car behind some trees, run towards the sidewalk leading to the walkway of the daunting overpass and call to a tall figure in the middle. You have to run a lot more than you'd like, seeing as how stretched out the path is.

"So this is the place," you huff matter of factly, reaching Jeager.

He nods. "Do you like it?"

"I thinks it's beautiful."

You watch the the pink sky, and lowering sun, a certain doubt nibbling at the end of your mind. "...Jeager, about yesterday, I want to address that."

He blushes at the memory. "I told no one."

"It's not that," you clarified, "the behavior you displayed made me doubt you about your commitment to jump." 

He flicked his eyes at you. "Please, do not let the past hinder what we have."

"But you looked... looked so full of life and I, I also felt that way, but we can't depend on it. There is no hope for us." 

Jeager grabs your shoulders, forcing you to turn to him. His nose is pink from the cold, but his eyes are dead set. "I know zhat, and vhat I did vus wrong. Please believe me vhen I tell you this: that I am no flake. I am ready to die."

You hug him and he hugs you back. He is so warm for somebody who's about to take a very long, cold bath.

"There's something else," you choke out.

"Vhat is it, schats?"

You swallow the lump in your throat. "I need to visit the place where I eloped with Misha."


	4. Chapter 4

Jeager immediately senses something wrong when he enters his house, or what is left of it. The inside looks like a horror movie set up while the outside might as well fall apart. The sight makes him want to regurgitate. He wonders how his suicide partner failed to notice such a dump in the beginning.

"Ma?" He calls as he shrugs off his coat, draping the material across a beat up chair.

Jeager can't be sure but he thinks he hears sniffling. Alarmed, he takes long strides into the hallway, past the portraits of his deceased father and barges in his room. His mother jumps at her son's sudden arrival, backing away from the computer she just rifled through.

The suicide website he stumbled across years ago is displayed on the screen, making Jeager pale by the double.

"Ma, Ich can explain," he hopelessly attempts  to reason.

"VHY?!" She almost screams, "why did you not tell about zhis? Do you know what kind of danger jou are putting yourself in?!"

"Vhat danger, the life I haf to live?"

The middle aged woman angrily wipes her tears. "Do not give mich that young man, tomorrow I take you back to mental institution!"

 Jeager's mouth curls into a nasty, miserable frown, anger evident on his features. "Nien!" He speaks harshly, grabbing a sleeping bag from the closet. "Ich vill not go to hospital. You can't make me!"

"Young man," his mother warns.

He faces her. "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! YOU JUST WANT ME TO BE MISERABLE!"

The teenagers sprints out his room, mat in hand; his pet bird fluttering nervously about.

"Jeager, wait!" she yells. Out in the neighborhood, Jeager dumps the camping supplies in his junker, ignoring the calls of his mother. He gets in the vehicle before she makes it to the patio, speeding loudly down the street.

Dry, orange and yellow leaves fall upon his windshield, signaling the start of Autumn. 

**[][][][][][][][]**

On Saturday, the German awakes thanks to the chirping of birds. He cracks his spine, having been using the car seat to sleep in. And for two days. He wonders if his mother called the cops. After stretching he starts the engine, heading in the direction of [Name's] house.

He knocks on the door, massaging his neck roughly. A man that resembles her answer the door. He's dressed in trucker clothing and about ready to head out for the day.

"Ehh, is [Name] home?" Jeager questions.

"Yes, she is," the truck driver says, "are you a friend of hers?"

"Ja."

"I'm her father," he states, "why don't you eat some pancakes first? She's probably still asleep."

"Vhy not." Jeager drags his feet inside and into the pantry. He grabs a plate and slides a single pancake onto it, sitting down at the dining table.

[Name]'s father climbs up stairs and then comes down a few minutes later. "She's getting up, where you kids going?"

"Yosemite," Jeager responds easily, cutting the cake into smaller pieces. He's not sure how he's gotten so good at lying.

Her father's brows rise. "Really? For how long?''

"Just today ant tomorrow, sir"

He grins. "Sounds like fun, don't let me hold you back." The older man grabs his keys and hat, happily exciting the house, "there's some snacks in the fridge if you wanna take'em!"

Jeager stops trying to finish his breakfast as silence finally ensues. [Name] pads into the kitchen then.

"You're here early," she comments.

"I had time," Jeager mutters.

"Are you okay? You look really tired."

"I just had a nightmare is all." He watches her grab a plate, "did you pack camping stuff?"

"Yup, just let me eat first."

**[][][][][][][][]**

Jeager squints as the sun beats down on his car window. He should have brought sunglasses. It's going to be a long car ride. For such a mild season, fall feels like its going to be a disappointment.

"Danke," he says when [Name] offers him her shades. They're heart shaped and make him smile.

"Want to stop at In N Out?" She suggests.

Jeager can't bring himself to say no to her. She looks so precious in the afternoon sun. He navigates the car into the restaurant's driveway, ordering two burgers and her favorite milkshake.

"You guys make such a cute couple," the cashier compliments.

Jeager touches his face and [Name] hides hers. The employee laughs, giving him the food and change. He drives to an isolated cliff and parks in the middle. [Name] clambers out and slides on top of his Honda. He joins her.

"Vhy do you want to go to abandoned church?" He can't help but wonder.

"That's where Misha and I tried to get married," she elaborates.

"And zhis has to happen or you can't die?"

"No, I just want to get it off my chest."

"But vhat are you accomplishing?"

"A sense of peace."

Jeager drops the subject. He can detect the growing edge in the girl's tone.

"So why do you want to die in Autumn?" She counters.

He shrugs. "I suppose zhat is when I tried to kill myself, but failed." [Name] chokes on her drink, staring at him. Jeager gets back in the car. "Come. Ve have long way."

What starts to look like a desert fills his vision. He feels [Name's] not so conspicuous glances every once in a while, silently questioning him. The boy ignores them, perking up at a small town coming into view. 

"This is where Misha and I ran off to," [Name] trails off. Her eyes are wide, mouth slightly open.

"Where is the church?" Jeager inquires.

"A couple blocks away. When you reach that bent pole, make a left. We can walk from there." 

Jeager guesses the church lies in the outskirts of the town due to the lack of chapels in the area. He shuts down the car and just because he can, he opens the door for her. [Name] quickly unbuckles, sprinting onto the sidewalk. She runs ahead of him, and he follows her, curious to see where her wedding took place.

They reach a small forest, and he blinks at white building just ahead, almost slamming into [Name] who stops without warning. The church rests there all right, yet appears torn down; leaving only a skeleton of three walls. The forth utterly destroyed.

[Name] falls to the ground, a strangled sob erupting from her pretty lips. He can't do anything except hold her as she screams how at everything is ruined.

"It's going to be okay," Jeager tells her even though such a lie is clearly evident.

Obviously, this place is sacred to her, or was. Now, it's gone. But maybe there's hope for [Name]. Maybe he cannot be happy anymore but she can. She still cares about her shattered marriage after all! There has to be hope, he's never seen someone so attached to a memory.

Suddenly, Jeager doesn't want the girl in his arms to die.


End file.
